A Moment of Realization Part II...

I have 175 friends on Instant Messenger. I only talk to 4 regularly, and maybe 10 every now and then. I've noticed that there are a lot of screen names that, even if they are "online", I tend to ignore, or I feel like I would have nothing to say.

The question then becomes, well, why don't you delete the ones that you don't talk to? Basic answer, I don't want to be awkward...

I had a friend in college who, for no bad reason, I gradually faded out of communication with. Every so often, I would drop her a random one line message about the band The Killers, or some other interest that we had in common. She would type "Oh hey Steve!!" and so the convo would go. It's been a while since we have spoken. Since that time, a new Killers CD has come out. Yesterday I asked her how she liked the new CD and she didn't respond...

A similar situation occurred when I send another friend a text. This friend I didn't think was "fading" away, but for whatever reasons, she did not know that the text had come from me. The obvious conclusion here is one of two: 1.) my number is no longer in her phone and therefore come up as unidentified. 2.) she had a pet name for me that she forgot. I'm hoping that it's the first one...this was an "ouch" moment. Of course she apologized and needless to say, I'm back in her phone, but it got me thinking...how many people have taken me off of their buddy lists or phones???

Graduation brings a lot of changes, and some people are anxious to leave chucks of it behind quickly. This can often mean a purging of things like cell phone numbers and online friends (Facebook seems immune to this however). I've contemplated "purging" my AIM and cell numbers but when I go through them, I think, "Oh, I might want to talk to them again someday, or, I want them to come up on my caller id so that it's not awkward".

It can be AWKWARD when you try to reconnect with somebody who has purged you from their systems. At least I can honestly say that the two cases above are people who I am on good terms with. But it goes without saying that when you clean up, you don't just clean up bad stuff, you clean some good unused stuff too. Yes, I have proof that I have been unused for a while...but I think that that's okay. After all, at this point, my friends from college are starting their own busy lives and short of the reunions, contacts will be limited. I am not doubting that more of my friends will be surprised to see my number pop up from time to time. But like I said, I'm okay with this. Besides, we're getting to that age where we don't have time for AIM and extended phone calls about anything anymore.

I guess that this is life's natural way of "fading" out people. I just hope I can stall it for as long as possible.