The Kidz Are Freakin Crazy

It's been fairly recently that I have realized the distance between myself and adolescents.

It started most noticeably last weekend when I volunteered with my dad at a high school cross-country meet. I remember when I was in high school. I felt so old. I felt that people viewed me as an adult. Whether they did or didn't, I noticed the same swagger and bravado in these high school kids. And why not? They were high school athletes. The cream of the crop. I watched as they bantered back and forth and as I lined them up in the "boxes" designated for their team, I was the recipient of some of the smart-assiness that comes naturally to young men and women.

As I stood in the middle of the course with the starters' pistol, I thought to myself; high school doesn't feel like it was a long time ago, but when I look at these kids, I realize that high school WAS a long time ago.

I walked outside to bring the garbage cans from the curb to the side of the house today. While I was dragging cans, I heard a small collective of middle school aged children rounding the corner. As I looked, one had placed a plant in his pants so that the long stem dangled below his belt line. He was talking about adding length and width like so many of the "Extenze" commercials that inundate television these days. I didn't remember talking about my junk when I was in middle school. I was too concerned with pretending to be secret agent or using the dog poop bags as "pope" hats and being a member of the "Pope Hat" gang. My "deviance" didn't seem to be as "mature" as these ruffians.

Why can't kids play with poop bags instead of flora weiners?