Why the H- can't I find t-shirts anymore???

Since summer has arrived and I haven't received my yearly quota of free college tees, I have been forced to find other alternatives. This has proven to be a much harder task than I had originally expected though and I can't tell if it's just me, or the t-shirts...

I'm beginning to realize that t-shirts are becoming as much a mainstay in fashion as they ever were. Bro's wear their Affliction t-shirts to clubs and bars, and companies like Armani, try to sell us $50 t-shirts that already look destroyed. Not to mention this new Christian Audigiar character who's glorified Lisa Frank fantasy animal designs have become some of the more expensive items on the clothing racks.

I can't get into it, but it seems that t-shirts are becoming too elaborate "artistically" for me. Maybe it's because I wash my t-shirts. When you wash a shirt, it fades, and the designs begin to crack after a while, and eventually it's time to get a new shirt. If I paid $50 for a t-shirt, I would have a hard time watching this process occur, or, I would consume myself by making sure that that shirt never went in the dryer thusly hanging it to dry. Frankly, too much effort for T-SHIRT. Maybe a nice jacket or something, but a t-shirt?

Walking through a Nordstrom's (this years styles), Nordstrom's Rack (last years rejected styles), or a Macy's, I soon realized that t-shirts, although maybe not as elaborate as a Christian Audigiar, are still these "works of art" that I can only see on some mega bro, or an American Apparel model wearing. Shirts with patches, or awkward cuts; shirts with dated logos like "Crush", or exotic places you've never been like "Montana", or "Ireland"; and shirts with funky cartoons litter these stores. I kinda like the funky cartoon shirts, but they tend to be on funky colors too and I don't know if I could pull off a pale teal shirt. T-shirts from Express have weird glitter on their Gothic designed eagle wings with a neuvo silk screen style "tattoo art" down the chest and sides, and American Eagle and Gap logo shirts don't make any sense at all...

I'm starting to think that this is when I cross over and out of the following generation. I always enjoyed a good Volcom stone shirt, or a RVCA shirt, but I can't seem to find a subtle one. The way things are looking though, I don't know if I'll ever enjoy these new "artistic" designs. I've found myself getting plain v-necks and solid-color t-shits, but this ultimately makes me feel like I have no fashion sense, which, whether it's true or not, is not a happy feeling. I can only hope that the "artsy" tee goes out of style as quickly as the t-shirt on top of the polo thing that swept Abercrombies and Gap stores across the nation not too long ago.

Maybe I should consider the t-shirts that you can find online with the goofy sayings, and puns. The only problem with those so far is that I can't find one that I feel I could wear in public without drawing unnecessary attention to myself. I guess this this all means if I'm going to shop for t-shirts at a mall, I had better get used to the idea of going straight for Gap v-necks. Otherwise I guess it's come down to me scouring the internet for some t-shirt that doesn't make me look like a complete asshole and that doesn't require that I buy salmon colored shorts to accompany it.

I guess I like the idea of t-shirts being a simple commodity. Or maybe I'm just a fan of more subtle styles. I like to think that that doesn't make me an oldie, but the more I think about it, being detached from teens these days might not be a bad thing.

I never got into Lisa Frank. I was more of a Peachy guy. I guess that how I like my t-shirts too. But I don't want to have to shop at Walmart to get my Peachys, or my t-shirts...

Thoughts while walking in a mall...

Malls are undoubtedly one of the greater environments for "people watching." I have always found at least some element of a mall overly interesting on any given day. Usually my interest is sparked by the "children friendly" sections. Usually right outside of department stores, these quarter fed respite providers never cease to amaze me, especially since they are obviously simple machines that attract bounds of attention by toddlers and the like.

There are also these small brightly colored ponies on electric wheels that children can also ride on in a small corral in the center of the causeway. I don't think that parents understand that their children look like little shits on these things. But alas, I don't want to go too far into child attractions today...

Over the past year or so, I've been sudo developing this idea that people walk like they drive. Most notably, if you look at large walkways at airports, theme parks, malls, sidewalks, piers, etc., you might notice that there are two distinct "lanes" of human traffic. Chances are, if you walking and you feel like you're the only one going that direction, you're probably the only one going in that direction. Don't be a salmon and swim upstream... Just like driving, the boundaries of the causeway are usually to our right hand sides, and "opposing traffic" is usually to our left (obviously this analogy only works for some countries). The people closest to the edge of the boundary are going to be going the slowest because they are the ones popping in and out of stores/terminals/etc., just like individuals coming off and on exit and entrance ramps on a freeway on in and out of driveways.

Some people "run out into traffic" and then walk really slowly, pissing off everybody who had rhythm behind them. Other times, people may walk in a group in a horizontal line so that people behind can't pass them without entering opposing traffic. Starting to sound familiar? Kids are told not to run, like teens and young adults are told not to speed, and people who are lost just walk around in circles slowing down everybody. There are fast walkers who weave in and out of steady walkers, there are elderly walkers who should really check their blind spots before "switching lanes", there are people who walk and talk on their cell phones really loudly when they should be paying attention to something else (their child on the magical pony perhaps?).

Obviously this hypothesis would require that I then watch that person drive to see if they drive like they walk. But I think that regardless of whether an aggressive walker = an aggressive driver, or a passive walker = a passive driver, we still sub-consciously adhere to basic "road rules" while walking.

Nuff-said...